she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize