Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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