what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
