if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
