I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
