She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize