He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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