I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
