don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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