Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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