'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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