Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
