That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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