This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
