i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
