State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
