He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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