Where is the hickey?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
