Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
