that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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