can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
