update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
