How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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