By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is Oprah even human
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
