What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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