i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
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well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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