Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
