You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
