his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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