She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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