I showed him my bush... on skype.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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