You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
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I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize