You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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