did you get engaged???
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
