Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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