hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
