Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
