Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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