I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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