our cab driver is having phone sex.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize