It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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