Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
