1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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