Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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