But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
