Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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