I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Randomize
