She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
