i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
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you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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