I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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