i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
