remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Never underestimate the power of titties
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
