And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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