I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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