people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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